Endgame

Over the last couple of days I’ve had a couple of the most terrifying and exhilarating conversations with Bob that I can recall.

Bob and I had already confirmed that I’d got a plane booked for a solo flight on Saturday so it didn’t come as a surprise when I got the text from him on Friday wanting to go over my plan for the flight.

I think it is a testament to our relationship that Bob didn’t even pause for breathe when I told him it’d have to be a quick call because I was currently in the middle of a field supervising the inflation of a giant gorilla. Either he dismisses this as a quirk of my British sense of humour or he realises that my job really is that messed up.

For the record it’s the latter.

As well as going over the details of the upcoming flight Bob took a moment to talk about the “where we go from here” plan. I’m to review the flight test guide notes, so that I know exactly what the examiner is going to expect of me. I’m to get-my-damn-written-exam-out-of-the-way-already (more about that in another post) and Bob and I will have an extended briefing session next week to map out a road plan.

This feels very very odd.

At the very start of this blog I likened the whole affair to a flea trying to climb Mount Everest. I’m not sure I ever truly believed that I would get to this stage. This stage where my flight test actually feels…. achievable.

I know that everyone gets a little overwhelmed at first but for me it was so much more. I was terrified of being in the plane, let alone flying it. I genuinely believed I’d get to a stage where someone would quietly take me to one side and explain that I’d gone as far as I could. That I’d never quite make the cut.

It never happened.

I’m simultaneously terrified and exhilarated at the same time. I’m playing the endgame now. The skills are there they just need polish.

At the end of my last flight Bob and I chatted briefly as he totalled up my various hours in my PTR, reinforcing what we’d discussed on the phone. I reiterated how much fun the last flight had been. How much I’d enjoyed it but as we started to talk flight test again, I turned to Bob and said

“I don’t know how I got here…”

Bob seemed to understand that I was talking about more than the ferry ride over.

“But looking back, was it fun?” he asked.

I didn’t have an answer. Fun is so not the right word. How do you describe something so profound, so life changing? Something that has had such an impact on your life?

I have enjoyed it, I am still enjoying it. But somehow the word “fun” seems to trivialise it a little. I’m a changed person because of this.

But I guess it has been fun , as well!